One star: Please excuse me while I destroy this recording.
Two stars: I was overcome by a wave of nausea while listening to this recording.
Three stars: Anger was the emotional response I experienced while listening to this recording. Please do not ever play this near me again.
Four stars: I felt a slight sense of revulsion while listening to this recording, but nothing I couldn’t handle.
Five stars: I felt completely neutral while listening to this recording. I could just as well have taken a nap.
Six stars: Listening to this recording was not an unpleasant experience.
Seven stars: Listening to this recording was actually a pleasant experience.
Eight stars: I will actually seek out opportunities to listen to this recording in the near future.
Nine stars: I feel compelled to purchase this recording in order to listen to it an my leisure.
Ten stars: I could feel my nose begin to sting and tears forming in my eyes as the emotion surged through me while listening to this recording.
Eleven stars: I wept with joy as I listened to this recording. I am speechless.